i'll be here when they give the pulitzers away

I’ve been getting some sexual asks in my box - and one of them not anon, not sure if that was intentional- and just to be clear: no. We do not have that kind of relationship. I am a person, you are a person, and there should be some sort of basic mutual respect there.

Also: my father has largely exaggerated the size of my dowry to avoid dishonor. It’s now only two alpacas, not three. Blame the Even-toed Ungulate Crash of 2008.